Indulging Children Compromises Their Future
(A Conversation with Mr. Stanley Yen)
(excerpt from Future Parenting in Chinese, photos from Global Views)
“Our youth today are learning more from the internet than from their families, schools, or society. However, the internet is like a highway without traffic regulations. There will be serious consequences if we do not teach our children to use the internet properly.” -- Stanley Yen.
Our young people’s ever growing cyber addiction has been a major concern for Stanley. One recent international news story deeply saddened him. After repeated failed attempts to manage his child’s excessive cellphone usage, a father tossed the phone out the window. This led the child to jump out the window because he was unable to separate himself from his phone.
Stanley is lamenting for two reasons. First, the internet is unguarded. Though it offers new knowledge, it is also full of “unfiltered” contents which can traumatize our youth. Second, our children are supposed to find comfort and security from their parents and family. When did the cell phone become a substitute for parents?
“The solution lies within the family,” said Stanley. “Parents must spend time with their children while they are young so that the children will rely more on their parents than on their cell phones. As children grow up, parents should show them the right way to use the internet by teaching them independent thinking and good judgement.
Our world is turning upside down; family education is more critical than ever
In Stanley’s new book On Striving for Civility, he dedicates a chapter to education. In this age of disorder, caused either by a pandemic, the regression of democracy, or the divisiveness of racism, the solution lies in education -- not just education in school whereby changes can be slow due to structural issues, but in family education which can have greater and more immediate impact on an individual’s behavior.
The most important thing in one’s childhood is time spent with one’s parents. A healthy relationship built on trust creates a strong sense of security. The importance of a strong parent-child relationship becomes ever more apparent when the child reaches adolescence and their focus shifts to their peers, friends, and the internet.
Creating healthy parent-child relationships and teaching self-discipline
Having a close parent-child relationship does not necessarily mean spoiling the child -- proper and consistent rules yield disciplined children. Instead of letting our children get their way, we should set boundaries and teach them self-discipline and respect for others; this will help them form their core values.
Additionally, in the internet age, we need to teach our children differently. With the proliferation of fake news and internet fraud, our children must learn to make good judgement, to think independently, and to have a sense of justice. Our children must also know that learning is a life-time pursuit.
Foster good character, then develop life competencies, work ethic and skills
Stanley often says one must first build good character, then develop life competencies including work ethic and skills. With the rapid advance of Artificial Intelligence, we should ask ourselves what will become of us when robots replace our jobs.
“Our youth today are learning more from the internet than from their families, schools, or society. However, the internet is like a highway without traffic regulations. There will be serious consequences if we do not teach our children to use the internet properly.” -- Stanley Yen.
Our young people’s ever growing cyber addiction has been a major concern for Stanley. One recent international news story deeply saddened him. After repeated failed attempts to manage his child’s excessive cellphone usage, a father tossed the phone out the window. This led the child to jump out the window because he was unable to separate himself from his phone.
Stanley is lamenting for two reasons. First, the internet is unguarded. Though it offers new knowledge, it is also full of “unfiltered” contents which can traumatize our youth. Second, our children are supposed to find comfort and security from their parents and family. When did the cell phone become a substitute for parents?
“The solution lies within the family,” said Stanley. “Parents must spend time with their children while they are young so that the children will rely more on their parents than on their cell phones. As children grow up, parents should show them the right way to use the internet by teaching them independent thinking and good judgement.
Our world is turning upside down; family education is more critical than ever
In Stanley’s new book On Striving for Civility, he dedicates a chapter to education. In this age of disorder, caused either by a pandemic, the regression of democracy, or the divisiveness of racism, the solution lies in education -- not just education in school whereby changes can be slow due to structural issues, but in family education which can have greater and more immediate impact on an individual’s behavior.
The most important thing in one’s childhood is time spent with one’s parents. A healthy relationship built on trust creates a strong sense of security. The importance of a strong parent-child relationship becomes ever more apparent when the child reaches adolescence and their focus shifts to their peers, friends, and the internet.
Creating healthy parent-child relationships and teaching self-discipline
Having a close parent-child relationship does not necessarily mean spoiling the child -- proper and consistent rules yield disciplined children. Instead of letting our children get their way, we should set boundaries and teach them self-discipline and respect for others; this will help them form their core values.
Additionally, in the internet age, we need to teach our children differently. With the proliferation of fake news and internet fraud, our children must learn to make good judgement, to think independently, and to have a sense of justice. Our children must also know that learning is a life-time pursuit.
Foster good character, then develop life competencies, work ethic and skills
Stanley often says one must first build good character, then develop life competencies including work ethic and skills. With the rapid advance of Artificial Intelligence, we should ask ourselves what will become of us when robots replace our jobs.
As the Chair of Junyi School for Innovation in Taitung, Stanley ensures the school’s curriculum includes humanities subjects such as dance, drama, art, green & sustainable architecture, hospitality, etc.
At Apple, Steve Jobs initiated the offering of Art, Aesthetics, and Literature courses to its employees to cultivate inter-disciplinary skills that would transcend humanities and technology.
An Apple executive told Stanley that when he interviews job candidates, he always asks about their hobbies, music preferences, interests in theater, art, etc. He believes aesthetics and cultural insights inspire innovation.
We are our children’s first teachers and role models
In today’s fast-paced world, Stanley says he understands the challenges and stress that parents face. Stanley reminds all parents that they are their children’s first teachers and the most important role models. We can make a difference if we set our heart to it.
At Apple, Steve Jobs initiated the offering of Art, Aesthetics, and Literature courses to its employees to cultivate inter-disciplinary skills that would transcend humanities and technology.
An Apple executive told Stanley that when he interviews job candidates, he always asks about their hobbies, music preferences, interests in theater, art, etc. He believes aesthetics and cultural insights inspire innovation.
We are our children’s first teachers and role models
In today’s fast-paced world, Stanley says he understands the challenges and stress that parents face. Stanley reminds all parents that they are their children’s first teachers and the most important role models. We can make a difference if we set our heart to it.
